Loss (Act II), Part Five


Part Five was a labor of love and I have some folks who deserve some props. @sassenachwaffles​ was the first to read and then helped me push it across the finish line on a second reading. She read it with a bottle of Fireball in hand. @notevenjokingfic​ was next. When I was deep in second guessing myself and this entire JAMMF first person narration, she walked me through it. Her suggestions and thoughts helped me get Jamie’s voice as close to right as possible. @kkruml​, as usual, helped me find what makes sense in my mad brain but does not work in black and white. 

In part inspired by @gotham-ruaidh‘s Writing Workshop (Week 25: “and slept”).

TW: Jamie is mangled. If injuries bother you, best to skip this installment.

Loss: Act I and ficlets

Loss: Act II: Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Loss: Act II
Part Five – The Story (Jamie’s Point of View)

There had been a moment in which I had appreciated that I was going to fall before it happened.

Even before I took that last bloody step, I had known the ground would give way.

I just knew.

Something about the dull, loose grinding of gravel beneath my shoes told me.

I heard my internal Jiminy Cricket say, ‘This is not right, Fraser…

The sensation of emptiness replaced sure-footedness.  

The realization that I was falling, not flying, rose up into my guts and swept the air from my lungs.

It was as if holding the breath would make the fall hurt less or do less damage.

In the moment, I reconciled myself with gravity’s betrayal of my body.  

The air could not hold me even though it felt thick around me, attempting to fight the pull of earth and whipping my clothes tight to my body.

And just like that, it was over –– a few helpless moments that passed like entire centuries and that also like no time at all.

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