I don’t know anyone who is able to separate their personal lives from the work lives. Actors also use this as their tool for acting. But! I blame Ep 3 on the writing team, producers, and the directors. All of Ep 3 looked as if they made it up as they went & expected the actors to just go w it. The writing was HORRIBLE. Matt & whomever was charge of the writing team should had NEVER let this script come to light. The shots were poorly put together. Yes, C/S acting was off but script sucked!

I really didn’t think 403 sucked that bad. I thought the Roger Bree parts were decent. Not the best ever or awe strickening (is that a word?), but solid.

The Jamie Claire parts just hurt me. That is not my Claire. My Claire hasn’t been around for a very long time, but S4 Claire is the sad sack of a human being teetering on an emotional precipice that was actually me when I found those books at age 39. I do not want to see that. I fought hard to shake off that misery.

Do I take these books too seriously? Fuck yeah I do! They saved me. Pardon the drama, but it’s the truth. Being a woman on the cusp of middle age with kids that no longer needed me to survive and hair that was more gray than not and wrinkles and a body aged who set aside a career to be available for others, I felt that my purpose was over. 40 and dead. I felt invisible. Pointless. Suddenly not the target market for anything besides pee pads and plastic surgery. It’s a sad hard place to dwell.

Those books, through Claire, showed me how much worth I STILL held and that life was not over, I wasn’t meant to just end up going forward. Book Claire taught me to let my hair down and seek joy and authenticity. There is nothing else out there glorifying the life of a woman beyond her youth. So when I say it hurts me to watch show Claire, that is literal. It’s giving me some PTSD and fuck that. I do not ever want to be that sad quiet pitiful woman ever again. I need to -see- that romantic fool Claire all the way. If the show won’t give me that, I’ll just tune out and read the books again.

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