missclairebelle: kalendraashtar: This is probably the hardest post I’ve ever written, in the 3+…



This is probably the hardest post I’ve ever written, in the 3+ years I’ve been here, so bear with me.

After much thought I have decided to take down Cordis later today and to grant myself a leave from writing fanfiction for Outlander. Indefinitely.

Although I feel the love of many, loud and clear, I’ve come to a point where I can’t shoulder the heartache that comes along. I can’t ignore the 33 messages I got since yesterday, which I won’t quote, that shade my work ethics and my values as a person and as a friend to many other fanfiction writers. I’m tired and I feel that my time will be best applied to helping others, reading books I love, watching brilliant shows, working and taking care of myself and of those I cherish. My other works will remain here, because they are as much yours as mine at this point.

As much as I treasure it, this isn’t a request for compassion or for a pat in the back. I had a magnificent ride as a writer and created many stories I wanted to tell. I’m actually mildly proud of some of them lol. I was fortunate. My time has come and gone and I leave the writing-side of things knowing that you are in great hands. Maybe one day I’ll feel strongly about writing again, who knows?

I’ll still be here for everything else - reading and supporting fanfiction, the show, the books, my ridiculous Truly Outlandish memes, etc.

This is how Cordis would have ended. Seems only right to finish like this.

“Because this relationship - me and Jamie, us - was the real heart that was mine to create. A beating, pulsing, emotional thing, able to breathe life to two instead of one.

He was my masterpiece.”


You are a masterpiece, M.  

There is no small amount of disgust in my heart for whoever is harassing my friend.  She is an incredible person, ceaselessly generous with her time, and selfless down to the very core of her being.  That you would take the time of your life to send her 33 messages (and God knows how many more before) berating her creative outlet means that you’re little.  You will always be little.  You have stripped this fandom of a voice that made countless days brighter, gave numerous people something to look forward to and savor, and opened a new line of sight into these characters.  Your poison (evidently all you care capable of) put an end to a boundless mind sharing her gift with this community, and that is something that makes you rotten to your core.

I am heartbroken that this is the state of our community. That supporting a friend means that we have to recognize when the toxicity is such that it’s no longer support to beg someone you love to stay. That supporting a friend means that we have to recognize that holding their hand as they walk away is sometimes the very definition of support. 

Thank you for years of sharing your gift with us all, my lacy beautiful vegetable. Thank you for pushing through this and bearing the cost of it for as long as you did. From those of us who love you, I hope our voices drown out the voice(s) of the little one(s) who spread ugliness and distortions. I hope that those little voice(s) become nothing more than the shout into the void that they are. I hope you got your piece(s) of chocolate tonight.


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