Deep as the Road is Long (Part II, Chapter 14)

desperationandgin:

Rating: MA for Major Angst

Also Read on: AO3

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A/NTime to put the pieces back together after this, slowly but surely. I promise ❤️

May 2016

It’s been two weeks since Faith’s funeral. Claire isn’t sure why she’s still in Scotland; whether it’s guilt or love or a combination of both. Jamie’s certainly done nothing to help clear it up for her and she doesn’t expect him to. Maybe she hasn’t left because she knows once she does, she’ll likely never see him again. Something in her wants to keep him close, while at the same time she knows she should go. Her life can’t stay on hold forever and she isn’t helping anymore. Everything that she can do has been done and it will never be close to enough. More than never having Jamie again though, now she’ll never see the people in his family she’s gotten to know and enjoy. Jenny, of course, though it had taken days to get the woman to speak directly to her. Ian has been most of Claire’s source of comfort. He seems to know when she needs a dram and pulls her aside. They don’t often speak during those moments, but Christ does she appreciate him for keeping her sane.

She hasn’t asked Jamie if he wants her to go anywhere; if he wants her to stay in the same bed as him, even. He’s never said anything, and as she tries to recall what they’ve spoken of lately nothing comes to mind. They hardly speak two words all day to one another. Or, more accurately, she tries to talk to him and he says nothing. She tries not to take it personally, seeing as how he doesn’t speak much at all in general to anyone but young Jamie and little Maggie and Katherine. He spends long hours holding either baby Michael or Janet, sitting along the couch with his knees raised so that the baby can rest against them. He speaks to them softly, mostly in Gaelic, when Claire catches sight of him. She stands upstairs in the shadows listening, able to make it out each time he smiles in his speech or when something makes his breath hitch. Never once has she interrupted, and always she’s in bed before he decides to let the babies sleep in their bassinet.

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