Learn to Respond, Not React : zen habits:

Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?
~Lao Tzu

Post written by

Leo Babauta

Much of our lives is spent in reaction to others and to events around
us. The problem is that these reactions might not always be the best
course of action, and as a result, they can make others unhappy, make
things worse for us, make the situation worse.

Why would we want to make things worse?

The truth is, we often react without thinking. It’s a gut reaction,
often based on fear and insecurities, and it’s not the most rational or
appropriate way to act. Responding, on the other hand, is
taking the situation in, and deciding the best course of action based on
values such as reason, compassion, cooperation, etc.

Let’s take a quick example:

1. React: Your child breaks something. You immediately
   react by getting angry, perhaps yelling, upsetting the child and
   yourself, worsening your relationship, not making anything better.
2. Respond: Your child breaks something. You notice
   your anger reaction, but pause, take a breath, and consider the
   situation. First response is to see if your child is OK — is she hurt,
   scared? Second, realize that the object that is broken, in the larger
   view, is not that important. Let it go, adjust to a world without it.
   Third, help her clean up, make a game of it, show her that mistakes
   happen and that it’s not something to dwell on. Fourth, calmly talk
   about how to avoid mistakes like that in the future, and give her a hug.

This choice presents itself to us all the time, whether it’s our
mother nagging us, our co-worker being rude, our husband not being kind
enough, and so on. There will always be external events that bother us,
but if we learn to respond and not just react, we can make things better
and not worse.

My decade-long Tumblr and relatively short Outlander fandom experience, as well as my observations on Caitriona Balfe, are consistent with what I have been learning on my job and in dancing: Act or Respond, but don’t react.

coolcatgroup:

m0rethanyoubargainedf0r:

catdad:

If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.

I reblogged this at like 4am and I’ve spent the whole day thinking about it and randomly laughing

This is exactly how I react to bullsh*t that comes along in my life

Why it reminders me of the show I used to be in love with where the production failed to deliver this season and they cheated but thought they were smart

veronicathecrazyfangirl:
Step one: Join a fandom
Step two: There is no step two your life has already been ruined