Loss Jamie and Claire’s first Christmas together –– this is only very shortly after they moved in together. Pre-engagement. Pre-home ownership. Pre-wedding. Pre-Buffalo Bill. Inspired by a series of texts that I woke to from @sassenachwaffles about how she needed a Loss ficlet where Claire strips to Eartha Kitt’s version of Santa Baby. If you are not into NSFW, I think it’ll be pretty obvious to you where to stop reading. 🎄I hope this gives you a little holiday season glow. ❤️
The First Noël
December 2016
We spent an entire weekend decking the halls of our new flat.
Still slick from a Saturday morning of lazy, prolonged, and teasing sex, Jamie announced that he had agreed to meet the Murray clan at a tree farm near Lallybroch. The annual Fraser selection and chopping of a tree for Christmas. In response, I confessed something that I held incredibly close to the vest.
I had not had a Christmas tree since the year that my parents had died.
He maneuvered me away so he could look at me from arms length.
I was sure that my explanation sounded defensive, but at its core, it was defensive.
Lamb and I were nomads.
Bachelor pads are not conducive to Christmas decorating.
It was just not that important.
Rarely home, and then only a handful of nights every few months.
“I canna believe ye’ve no’ had a Christmas tree since ye were… what?”
“Huh?” My mind, still faltering a few steps was replaying the accident that took my parents. (Metal and fire, blood and loss. Imagery I gleaned from a microfiche at a university library when I was thirteen.) I was not keeping up with him.
“When yer parents died. How old were ye?” Jamie’s brow was furrowed and I returned to his chest, nestling my face against his throat. His skin was tacky –– sweat, musk, scented with the last moments of our joining. Even beneath me, he was armor –– a sturdy presence to draw me back to the present. “Five, right?”
“Yeah,” I mumbled faintly, pressing my lips to the button rise of his left clavicle. I could envision, behind closed eyes, a slim book of fragmented, greyed memories. My first four Christmases were gone. Only the scarred edges of missing pages remained. No memories, save one (a Christmas bow, my hair in a braid, my mother’s violet perfume, sucking candy canes down to sharpened points with bits of plastic wrapping flaking off onto my tongue, and midnight mass candle smoke). “Five. Don’t get me wrong… Lamb was great, Jamie. Better than great, actually. He was just not much of a traditionalist when it came to holidays.”
You know why her interviews keep getting boiled down to a few words that come out of her mouth? Because she’s consistently stuck her foot in it so often when it comes to fans during promo. This isn’t a one off. Maybe someone on her team or the show’s team should sit her down and chat with her about that. Based on her comments about how she feels she can never do anything right, she knows the impression many are getting. The onus is on her to not say things about fans that people interpret as belittling and insensitive.
for the last 2+ weeks, the Amazon has been catching fire. Yes, it’s the season where that’s normal but because of the sayings (aka incentive) of our new president, some farmers are taking advantage of that and intentionally setting the trees on fire. Yesterday, because of this, the sky of São Paulo looked like this. AT THREE IN THE AFTERNOON.
Hospitals of the northern states are filling up with people (especially children and seniors) claiming they can’t breathe properly. ALREADY ENDANGERED ANIMALS ARE DYING. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Germany and Norway, huge donators to the Amazon cause will stop sending money because they don’t see results (that can also be credited to our president, who has been tweeting angrily ever since - not because he cares about the environment, btw). That money gives this guy and his team equipment to save little guys like these:
THIS AFFECTS EVERYONE, NOT JUST BRAZILIANS. The Amazon is the largest rainforest in the world, and it’s being destroyed. WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.
If your country is holding elections, vote for someone who cares about this. Don’t let another Bolsonaro or another Trump have the power to do something and then do nothing. This is going to shape our future — if we have one.
PLEASE REBLOG, EVERYONE NEEDS TO SEE THIS!!
side note: not to sound bitter or ungrateful but also like what’s up with Europe… y’all exploited South America for centuries but just because you “aren’t seeing results” you stop helping altogether?? if you really wanted to help you wouldn’t stop because you think you aren’t helping lol
Please reblog to spread the news. This is important.
It is already threatened by huge deforestation, to the point it lost 20% of its width in less than 30 years.
It’s been burning for around two weeks and almost no word has been uttered about it. I, sincerely, have come to find out about it just now. I’m shooketh ™️ because we’re really burning away this planet.
The Amazon Rainforest holds 20% of global waters, it’s an area of incredible value in terms of biodiversity and, nevermind, it’s a crucial climate regulator. Spread awareness, demand help.
Tori