La historia es sumamente conocida. Quizá demasiado… Un matrimonio ya anciano, que ha pasado la vida completa en su pueblo de origen, van a la “gran ciudad” a ver a su familia descendiente, un nieto que poco recuerdan… ahora altanero y con malos hábitos, y una nuera enviudada con un pequeño a su guarda; sin embargo, la prisa de una ciudad como Tokio y, admitámoslo, esas “altas miras” con que la gente citadina recibe a sus congéneres, hace que este par de ancianos pasen todo el tiempo solos, cavilando hasta posibilidades de culpa por “llegar a interrumpir vidas ya ajenas a su hilo”. El uso de lo cotidiano para Ozu le hizo merecedor, hasta el día de hoy, como el Director más Influyente en la historia del Cine mundial (con esta cinta, en una votación mundial, el 2012). Y no podría ser menos: siempre que puedo les destaco las sutiles pero exquisitas artes que usaba Ozu para entablar una simbiosis entre la hiperrealidad externalizada y los mutismos adoloridos de una vida que jamás nos dará lo que anhelamos… pero que nos alcanza para sonreír, cada tanto. Por favor, enamórense con los papeles de Setsuko Hara y Chishu Ryu. Si no llora -o lagrimea- algún apartado de la cinta, por favor, cuéntemelo y hágame saber cómo lo hizo… para que no me suceda, jaja.
Yasujiro Ozu –
東京暮色 (1953. Trad. Historias de Tokio; Subtitulada en Inglés)
Seriously, it’s not that hard. Any school age child could do this and does a better job researching for school projects than half this fandom.
1. Open Google Chrome/Firefox/Explorer whatever
2. Find the search bar
3. Type in Anthony McGill Islington
4. Hit search
The searches come up.
Among those you will find job ads placed by Tony himself on ZipRecruiter looking for a cleaning lady and a couple of different ones on LinkedIn and some other sites looking for an Assistant Bar Manager. They were placed last summer and beginning of this year. He is the contact person. He was doing the interviews himself. He would have had to be in London for it.
He was looking for a company to take over the bar for a while but in the meantime the owner of the property was still expecting him to run the business which he was, as he even said so himself in the August 2018 document. He said he was responsible for the day to day operations and that the bar was his source of income.
There are other things too…but why rehash it all now
But even if by some chance he was in LA with her the whole time, which he wasn’t, it doesn’t matter… sharing everyday life is not living in LA in your friends AirBnB style hotel instead of going home and building a life together when you have time off to do so.
This is without a doubt entirely the fault of @outlandishchridhe who sulked and pouted over BBTW being in my fic yesterday, and had to bleach her eyeballs. She DEMANDED that I write a fic where Larry gets eaten by a t-rex. @snurkenach joined in. Simple math proved that, as it was 2 against 1, I was outnumbered and had no choice but to write their story. It’s their fault and I don’t apologize. There are NO SPOILERS, because this story is ridiculous.
It was a prosperous community, as far those things went.
Everyone worked cooperatively, and the food was plentiful enough, most of the
time. The men hunted daily while the women did everything else, from minding the children to mending the
dwellings, gathering fuel, harvesting fruits and edible roots, getting water,
making clothing, tending the fires, producing the tools needed to accomplish
all of this work, and on and on and on.
Honestly, the men kind of sucked. But, they were big and strong, and provided
meat, so the women agreed it was wise to keep them around.
The Alpha-female, CavewomanClaire, was a great healer and
much revered for her knowledge and special powers. She kept mysterious leaves
and barks in her hut, which she ground into powders and steeped into teas,
providing healing and nourishment to the community. Everyone looked to
CavewomanClaire as the leader, and her word was law. She held special councils
where she dispensed justice, blessed the women’s choices in a mate, and told
the men to sit down and shut up when they got too loud and boisterous.
CavewomanClaire had not chosen a mate, and all the men in
the village hoped that one day she would choose them. They hunted with great
skill in an effort to please her. It was hard to get them to do anything else,
because they were hairy louts, but the hunting was dangerous and hard work, so
she was happy to let them prove their worth in this way. She had no intention
of choosing any of the men to be her mate, because then the delicate balance
she had created within the community would be disrupted and the men might not
be as compliant. Cavewoman Claire was no dummy.
One day the men returned from hunting with a wooly mammoth
for dinner. How lovely! CavewomanClaire adored wooly mammoth steaks. She would
be bestowing some favors tonight. It didn’t take CavewomanClaire long to notice
that something was amiss with the men, so she called CavemanDougal to her. He
was a great hunter, a leader amongst the men, and not too bad to look at, but
he was kind of a slime bucket, so she kept him on a short leash. CavemanDougal
told her of a stranger they had found whilst hunting. He had been injured and
alone, so the men brought him along, thinking that CavewomanClaire probably
didn’t have anything better to do with her time than heal strangers, because
they were always hunting, and never really paid attention to what went on in
the village. It’s like the food just magically appeared on their hand-carved
stone plates, seriously!
CavewomanClaire was happy to attend to the stranger. If he
proved to be strong and smart (for a dude) she would encourage him to stay. A
sabre tooth tiger had taken out poor Caveman Angus just last week, and she
needed a replacement.
CavewomanClaire went with CavemanDougal to the site, just
outside the village, where the men had left the stranger. He was badly wounded
in the arm. He had been gored by something with a germy, gross tusk most
likely, and his shoulder was also out of joint. CavewomanClaire assessed the
damage and made caveperson small talk, which sounds like a bunch of grunts and
snorts, but translates to, “Bummer about your arm. I’ll bet it hurts.” “Yep, it
do.” “Want me to fix it for you? I’m kinda the bomb when it comes to healing.”
“Welp, I don’t have any other options, so have at it.” “Try not to cry, pretty
boy.”
CavewomanClaire was serious about the pretty boy thing. This stranger was one
hot cup of steeped leaves. She likey. She did her thing, and in no time, the
stranger, who’s name was CavemanJammf agreed to spend the night in the village
so that CavewomanClaire could continue to tend his arm and watch for infection.
The upside was that she could look at him a lot, because he really lit her
fire, if you know what I mean, and seriously, fire was hard to come by, so it
was a win/win.
He eventually healed, and by the time he was well enough to
go hunting, it was obvious to the whole village that CavemanJammf would be
staying on. He was smart and strong and super hairy – an obvious sign of
caveman superiority. He out alpha’d CavemanDougal in no time, and soon became
CavewomanClaire’s trusted advisor. She was ready to claim him as her mate,
knowing that when she did he would be able to maintain order amongst the men,
and keep them compliant through his forceful personality, and his great ability
to kick butt and take names as needed. CavewomanClaire was beginning to think that there might
actually be a caveman who was her equal, and she was exhilarated by the thought.
She had jumped the gun just a little bit, though, because the next day she went
down to the water and found CavemanJammf with a nasty, scabby, pox-ridden hag
named CavewomanL’Hoor. He looked grossed out, but CavewomanL’Hoor was a big
girl, and she was spoiling for a fight. CavemanJammf could obvi take her, but
he was supes nice and didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
CavewomanClaire saw CavewomanL’Hoor reach out and take
CavemanJammf’s hand, and place it on her scabby, nasty bewb. CavewomanClaire
was all “Ew. No.” and decided she’d better help CavemanJammf out of this icky
situation.
Just then, she heard a terrible, thunderous rawr, and a
T-Rex came out of the primordial sludge intent on CavemanJammf. “That’s weird,”
CavewomanClaire thought, “I could have sworn the dinosaurs all died out eons
ago. Clearly DinoDude didn’t get the memo. Well, no matter.” She pushed
CavemanJammf to safety just as the Rex was about to eat him whole. Grabbing a
spear, CavewomanClaire thrust and jabbed at the creature, driving it towards
scabby CavewomanL’Hoor. This chick had been a problem for a long time. She was
on CavewomanClaire’s last nerve and it was time for her to go.
It didn’t take long for the T-Rex to set his sights on the
scabby package CavewomanClaire was presenting, and the resultant carnage was
abundantly gory and limbs flew everywhere.
When the T-Rex had done what he came there to do, CavewomanClaire
hi-fived him and thanked him for taking one for the team. She told him (because
she could speak dinosaur – seriously, this chick is a BAMF), that there were
loads of people just sitting around as easy pickings in a circle of standing
stones a few miles away.
“That takes care of that.” thought CavewomanClaire, feeling
pretty fly.
CavemanJammf was totes hot for her in that moment and lost
all his chill. He bashed her over the head with his club, and dragged her back
to his place for some old-timey caveman jiggy. All was going according to plan,
thought CavewomanClaire.
As cavemen are wont to do, CavemanJammf’s secksy times were
short and brutish. While CavewomanClaire appreciated the technique, she knew he
could do better. He was about to tie up his flies and head over to the furs for
a little shut-eye, when CavewomanClaire told him to hold his horses, she wasn’t
finished yet, thank you very much. She dragged him out back behind the wood
shed and proceeded to teach him a thing or two about love. When CavewomanClaire
was finished with him, CavemanJammf saw stars and rainbows and unicorns.
CavewomanClaire did too, because she knew the importance of getting yours.
In the end, CavemanJammf agreed to be CavewomanClaire’s
mate, because he knew a good thing when he saw it, and was only sort of a hairy
dumb caveman. CavewomanClaire continued to be the leader of her people, and
they prospered in peace and harmony with the land.
The day another stranger stumbled into the village,
CavewomanClaire and CavemanJammf had him come to their hut so they could interrogate
talk to him. He was a weird dude who wore sweater vests, which were totally not
even in fashion yet, and said he was writing the history of the T-Rex and
proceeded to tell them all about his research. They quickly set him on the
trail of the last known T-Rex, conveniently in the direction of the standing
stones, because, honestly, this guy was so boring. Like mind-numbingly boring.
No one want’s to hear your story, CavemanFrank. It isn’t
about you. Get a grip.
And they all lived happily ever after.
The end.
@supertam87 Bringing this back! I had a good laugh with this story. Always!
@supertam87 This needs to be reblogged repeatedly! This would have to be the funniest thing I have ever read. Like laughing, crying, pants peeing, fair dinkum funny. 👏👏👏👏😂😂🤣🤣🏆🏆
Reblogging cause it’s piss funny 😂
Reblog remember how funny this was …… no … let me remind you 😂✌️💛
YOU HAVE TO READ THIS!! Leghair is gone for good ladies!!!
@supertam87 Right back at ya my friend. This is truly an award winning piece of writing, and anyone disagreeing clearly would not know a good piece of literature if it smacked them in the fucking face.
Reblogging for Fanfic Writers Appreciation Day 21 August 2018. This is one of the funniest stories in the history in the OL fandom. Love you Tam. xoxo
Tori