Archives for the Date March 12th, 2020

demytasse: ironinkpen: When writing couples, I like to use the Kiss Rule: If they have to kiss for…

demytasse:

ironinkpen:

When writing couples, I like to use the Kiss Rule:

  • If they have to kiss for you to know they’re in love, you’re not writing a romance right.

I couldn’t agree more with this. As someone who has been married for 7 years (together for 9), kissing hardly proves anything of love, at least on its own. The starry-eyed lover type of intimacy is cute, but using it exclusively is like eating fondant off a cake. It’s sweet, looks polished and pretty, but lacks robust the flavour of combined elements — fillings, frosting, toppings, and the cake itself.

It’s gestures often overlooked, silent acts of respect without calling attention to them. Subtleties mixed with the obvious.

The good, bad, and the ugly.

  • playful banter, ribbing, insults/backhanded compliments
  • recognising ticks/tells and how to respond (e.g. specific throat clear before they speak)
  • tolerating inconsequential bad habits (e.g. puts dishes beside dishwasher, not in it)
  • listening to the same stories multiple times as if they were new
  • developing similar quirks (e.g. particular laugh)
  • inside jokes
  • mock fighting, mini competitions
  • blatant honesty, humble apologies, knowing when to drop an argument
  • saying nothing/talking for hours
  • tending to illness or injuries
  • pokes, pet/pats, head/shoulder bumps, bites, tickles, cuddling, long gazes, stroking hair
  • grooming, restraighten clothing, touch up hair, brush off crumbs
  • singing and dancing together
  • understanding your partner’s hurt rather than just apologising
  • trust and respect
  • knowing how to cheer the other up, how to piss them off, humour them
  • reassurance (e.g. I’m here to talk, you’re doing a great job, your insecurities don’t define you)
  • associating sights, smells, touches, songs, phrasing, etc with them (e.g. “I saw a pigeon today and thought ‘is this my partner?’”
  • hating dumb things they do, but finding them hard to live without and secretly loving them
  • compromising, sacrificing, reciprocation

Love is unspoken, tolerant, and a spectrum of emotions.

It’s accepting that you’ll fuckin’ hate their entire being at times, exclaim with vitriol, “god, you’re so fucking annoying” while you smile and know that it’s trivial in the grand scheme.

It’s real. It’s healthy. It’s fun. That’s what I try to encapsulate in my sappy romantic fiction because realistic fluff is so much more gratifying.

I hope this helps.

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discourse i’d like to forget

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silvercitysands:

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holdhertightandsayhername:

Chapter 3 – By A Thread

This chapter has been written for weeks, but I’ve been going through a phase of insecurity and weariness which prevented me from sharing it.

Thank you to @but-little-she-is-fierce, who reminded me of the power of storytelling. And to @kalendraashtar – I really don’t know what I’m doing, but at least I get to do it with you. 💙

Over the past ten years, I’d had daily conversations with the dead. Whether I was dealing with babies or centenarians, drug addicts, suicide victims, vagrants or prehistoric warriors, WWII soldiers or coalminers, my job was to ask them the right questions, be persistent and unbiaised, and bring the pieces of their stories back together.

Read chapter 3

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