Archives for the Date May 6th, 2020

terracemuse:such weight as sorrow. 李清照 …


such weight as sorrow.

李清照 《武陵春·春晚》









outlastedtv: macangel56: rainmanjdog: rainmanjdog: sheonamarie: hardblazesong: rainmanjdog: A…








Alright.  It should be settled, right?  Ship over.  Done.  (True enough; I am no longer shipping.)  But, I am an analyst – we take notice of trends, boluses and patterns.  Things still do not make sense.  Its not about preserving a dream team I thought would make a great couple.  Its about things I have seen over a long period of time that do add up OR DON’T. 

I said from day one; I am a cathartic writer.  Its why I journal.  Feel free to just skip through, nod your head, disagree vehemently.  I am saying; things do NOT add up where you land.  STILL.

PATTERNS (not necessarily in consecutive or perfect order):

Tennis Match #1:  Pre-married couple (post-Fife); little to no interaction.  Cait mostly on her phone.

Met Gala:  The pre-married couple; next to each other.  Not interacting; one on his phone.

HW JodieFoster Star:  The pre-married couple; next to each other; no interaction.  (in fact, I made a new friendship this day as someone who was just leaving the “anti” side said there was as much chemistry there as her son and his goldfish to me in a DM).  Eventually, a conversation between Jodie, Kristen S and Cait, someone ignored, until a quick dismissive “this is Tony.“  then, ignored again……….

Cannes:  Purse and sunglass handoffs, no interaction.  One picture of a “foursome:” Jack O’Connell, his best friend and publicist, Cait & Tony (her presumed assistant).  He was spotted later, with other publicists and on the phone also.  No one else brings their SO’s except Clooney.  He is allowed.

BAFTA x3 now?:  Little to know interaction.  Our lovely blond there one time. Then, post-engagement, we got the Bro-Hug-In-Your-Face caught and filmed by the Big Boss (who happens to own what?  1/3 of Ireland these days). 

GG x 2:  Little to no interaction.  

VF party:  Sam and Cait:  talking.  Two escorts; ignored.

Tennis Match, what?  #3, #4:  Pre-married couple, little to absolutely no interaction.

T2:  Well….we all know that!  The man was left in the dust but made a great coat holder.  Sam brought his platonic friend.

(All the while, indicating singleness in interviews, while simultaneously posting love poems and articles with pictures of Gena and Jon; Paul and Joanne). 

Colbert:  Tony left at the curb, with the working “team,” without a backwards glance; left to walk to hotel alone; bags in tow.

Kimmel:  Cait walks literally 10 paces or more in front of wonderful, shy fiancé; almost as if he is only part of her team.  (Strange, when BTS pictures of her with Sam, even in Daily Mail when someone had almost drowned nearby, her arm is looped around Sam, or she is hanging on him, multiple times throughout the year….)

Meanwhile: Scotch Talk and someone trying to hide, but not just quite, into Sam’s shoulder.  Meanwhile, during S1 and S3 filming, we have Diana admitting Sam bit her toes and they were poking each other and giggling filming S3.  Ok.  

Meanwhile: we have a photo-shoot, one for the books with some pretty intimate moments.  I remember a friend saying they were about to kiss and dang!  The film stopped….Shippers were mocked.  Until, the photo-shoot on the ship, for S3 ETW, they DID kiss.  That’s some great method-acting for a photo-shoot!  Especially, when you are in love with someone else…!

While I am at it:  You shoot 14 hours a day, but you still have time to binge-watch, karaoke, try sushi and whisky places in UK and US (caught a couple of times in the early days in LA), horse-back ride on Saturdays, merge charities, get licenses at the same time; train for marathons at the same time; rehearse for roles together, go shopping on weekends, play tennis, hike, go to rugby games, picnics and dinners with other friends, go out for coffee at new place, buy the other’s old place, hang out with her cat who is known to bite other people), troll the fandom on your costar’s rug in the middle of the night (which eventually became your rug), sleep in her bed with her cat.  But hey!  That is ALL taken care of nicely yesterday and sealed with a bow!  WE ARE FRIENDS.  WE HANG OUT.  They are totes free to roam about the ends of the earth now.  No questions asked. 

Meanwhile:  GG #1:  Sam caught with his arm around her.  Video of show catches them in their bubble.

Dinner Party at the Moore’s:  Sam laughing with woman (who Troll tried to say he was flirting) until it was discovered it was Cait across from him.  Big smile on his face.

BAFTA #2:  Intimate picture of grooming, pre-picture.

BAFTA #3  Unaware picture of the two, in their bubble, laughing.

GG Party (or was it Audi):  Immediate post-engagement picture:  Such a joke, to the extent people posted, “Caitriona, her fiancé and her boyfriend.“ 

During the “single period” (not sure if that was pre-Brian the financier or post): Binge-watching, karaoke,

Engagement:  #grateful tour (watch me as I literally have you follow me each step of the way).  Picture “leaked” of a foursome; with a literal claw of Cait, unable to fully loop around to touch Tony’s neck.  Why not do a re-do picture and make it a little more…intimate?  (PATTERN:  Sam, unable to fake intimacy with a blond ….).  Supposed “fan” picture when its actually a staged picture of friend, again, HE is there.  Dully noted, before the BIG news is dropped….six times, in fact.

#surprise!  It was “such a surprise!“  “I’m just glad he asked!” Except there was a convenient journalist there to catch it all.  And, a big announcement in People.  It easily could have been kept quiet.  But it wasn’t!  (Maybe she wanted it out there; so there would be no questions….); except, a story is being told.  It IS.  Its NOT Sam. 

Oh, happy serendipity!  A “journalist” yet again is at the right place and the right time to not just eavesdrop and get the “wedding planning” in full swing; but gets a picture.  A STAGED picture.  Again…why?  That is up to you.  You act coy; say it is “only for you,” but you literally tell the world WHERE to look for a future wedding……..

Sam, Always-Has-Eachothers’-Back Sam:  Wonderfully catches a nice little moment on his IG story and decides to share it on IG.  So kind of him to protect his costar’s privacy and her shy fiancé and blast a private moment to the world. 

#Stellenbosch #Somerset See the similarities?  Birthday rainbow followed by a timely rainbow picture with a blond (it took a little time to get the rainbow software “up,” but you get the drift).   Two private people indicating who, what, where and when during their private time.  Right!  Got it!

We are being sold a story.  The truth of the story is up to you.  The whys of the story we don’t know.  We are all guessing.  I feel stupid if I believe a marriage didn’t take place; when all of the facts and signs point to one in my mind.  I am unsettled when I try to land with she married someone else; case closed.  I am afraid to mention the other obvious “elephant in the room,” because ….wait for it…beard #4, which is always entertaining but not really.  I have, literally, two sets of data pointing to two different outcomes/solutions.  The rest of the fandom just believes everything they are told; sold and that is how it is meant to work. 

I have my own ideas of maybe why (man, remember Sam couldn’t even speak a coherent sentence S3 promo he was so exhausted, but still had to take his girl out every night….and look ridiculous in matching leather coats, still…an ability to fake it by that point).  So, why?  He doesn’t have to do that anymore, now, does he?

I regret the day I ever googled, “Is Sam Heughan single?“  I regret the day I did that and all I saw were pictures of him with his costar.  (Boy, they sure took care of that!). 

Nice recap 😘

Great recap. When they read this they will likely stage a kiss next… ;P

I forgot IFTA!  IFTA, again, post-Fife.  There, but ignored.  So ignored, in fact, that I literally pay more attention to my dog when I am in conservations with someone else.  When she is commanded to heel, she is directly to my life side, parallel.  This guy was at her back….ignored….it was bizarre….unless…

Oh, I forgot another thing:  Prague, filming for TV Guide, stroking her wrists, her arms, looking at each other, film cut again…when it looked like a kiss would happen.  I’m sure her shy fiancé is very understanding. 

Interview with England’s whatever-it-is-called that is an insert of newspapers in the Tube that usually ends up on the bottom of people’s shoes:  “Sam and I go our separate ways when we aren’t working.“  Welp!  That sure got amended, now, didn’t it?!  Its obvious they DO hang out and, end up in the same cities FIVE times during their last hiatus, they were in pictures together in two of them.  And, I know they did it when she pretended to be in LA (and her friends there helped #tag her in LA), but she showed up in Glasgow with a fan….with Sam and Duncan.  Oops.

Love your memory 💕

Man these all reminded me why I shipped those two 😢 makes me realise I wasn’t crazy after all, shame they had to go and b fucktards & ruin my perception of their characters & integrity 🙄

thought-42: therealstartraveller776: bea2me: zoinomiko: weconqueratdawn: ardwynna: I wonder…







I wonder where the break happened that such wide swaths of younger fans don’t grasp fandom things that used to be unspoken understandings. That fic readers are expected to know fiction from reality,  that views expressed in fic are not necessarily those of the author, that the labels, tags and warnings on various kinkfics are also the indication that they were created for titillation and not much more, please use responsibly as per all pornography. The ‘problem’ isn’t that so-called ‘problematic’ fic exists but that some of the audience is being stupid, irresponsible, at worst criminal, at best not old enough to be in the audience to begin with. And that’s on the consumer, not the author who told you via labels, tags, ratings, warnings and venues what their fic was about and what it was for.

I can’t stress enough how important this post is

Tumblr. Tumblr is what happened, with its never-ending scrolling, with its lack of nested contents (or ANY comments, when fandom sailed here from the old world), with its tags instead of membered communities.

Tumblr turned fandom content into mindless consumption instead of community. I’m no expert on human behaviour, but I’d put money on this.

When Authors stopped being friends and turned into content providers, new fandom members never learned to care.

“When authors stopped being friends and turned into content providers”

Well that reframed my view of every fandom I’ve touched for the last five years, and it explains a lot.

(I wrote a whole essay on this, and the Tumblr App ate it. So here I go again…)

Here’s the thing: a few years ago, fandom on Tumblr was just as interactive and inclusive as other fandom platforms. I mean, it was different than the old bulletin boards (bbs), LJ communities, and Yahoo groups, but we made it work. It was common for readers to reblog stories and comment on them. It was common for writers to reblog again with comments or to reply to comments in new posts. It was common to answer replies in new posts rather than privately or in the reply section (that very few users actually read through on posts that aren’t their own). When I moved into the Tumblr community, I had no problem finding my people and making friends and gushing together over all the Things™.

For deeply personal reasons, I had to take a step back from fandom life for a couple of years, and when I came returned, the landscape had changed dramatically. One of my fandoms had moved completely to Twitter. Most fandoms are on discord servers (and the interaction is still pretty thin there), and Tumblr has become a mausoleum where we just hang up pretty pictures for ourselves. Gone is the interaction. Gone, even, the epic, impassioned essays in the tags. Well, not gone entirely, but severely muted. I don’t quite know how the change happened; I wasn’t there.

I think social media as a whole has had a huge shift towards the impersonal, and it’s trickled down to fandom. I’ve been surprised by how many asks that @ao3commentoftheday has gotten recently where the sender worries about being too annoying and/or stalker-y by commenting on stories or reblogging or sending messages saying how much they enjoyed a particular fanwork. There are even asks from writers gnawing their lips over whether or not it’s appropriate to reply to comments from readers because “does that make me a stalker?? am i too annoying??”

I also believe—you can fight me on this all day and I won’t change my mind—that the Western culture of helicopter parenting has had a major effect on how “consumers” deal with “problematic” themes in fanworks. I started out in fandom as a young mother, and now half of my kids are adults; that’s my resume on this topic. I’ve witnessed a contingent of children grow up having all of their experiences curated by someone else. Any potential injury, no matter how small, must be avoided at all costs. So of course, now they’re old enough to engage in social media and, by extension, fandom (because fandom is so incredibly accessible these days), they truly believe that the onus is on the writers and artists to make sure their experiences are pleasant with nary a trigger. If we really cared about our readers, we would never produce anything potentially harmful ever. They should never have any kind of exposure to things that might hurt them, even seeing the story summaries with tags and warnings that show up while they’re searching through AO3.

Dehumanizing the content creators through the impersonalization of social media and the complete lack of personal accountability for our own experiences is destroying what was once an inclusive, fun, “anything goes” community in fandom. It’s a pity because it’s chasing away the old guard. I mean, if I wanted to write solely mainstream stories in an utter vacuum, and then have little to no interaction with my readers, I’d sell novels. I wrote fic, created fan art, and made fanvids as a way to immerse myself in the community, to make friends, to squee together. And now, what’s the point?

Maybe the wise answer isn’t to walk away, shaking our heads at the loss of the good ol’ days. Maybe the wise answer is to keep fighting, keep producing fanworks as the muse takes us—regardless of the few outspoken fans who don’t yet know how to take responsibility for their own experiences—and reach over that damn wall that got put up between creators and consumers in fandom. We have to show them what makes fandom special. Otherwise, it’s gone. And there’s going to be another startraveller out there, secretly loving things that most people in her real life would scrunch their nose at, and she’s going to feel acutely alone.

“if I wanted to write solely mainstream stories in an utter vacuum, and then have little to no interaction with my readers, I’d sell novels.”

sixpenceee:The stabilization of a hawk’s head….


The stabilization of a hawk’s head. Via u/SuggestAnyName

brownie-pics: ’20.4.15…


’20.4.15 東大寺大仏殿にて



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